Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Army Releases June 2013 Suicide Information

Army Releases June 2013 Suicide Information

            The Army released suicide data today for the month of June 2013.  During June, among active-duty soldiers, there were 14 potential suicides:  four have been confirmed as suicides and 10 remain under investigation.  For May 2013, the Army reported 12 potential suicides among active-duty soldiers:  two have been confirmed as suicides and 10 are under investigation.  For CY 2013, there have been 77 potential active-duty suicides:  42 have been confirmed as suicides and 35 remain under investigation.  Updated active-duty suicide numbers for CY 2012:  185 (166 have been confirmed as suicides and 19 remain under investigation).

            During June 2013, among reserve component soldiers who were not on active duty, there were eight potential suicides (four Army National Guard and four Army Reserve):  none have been confirmed as suicides and eight remain under investigation.  For May 2013, among that same group, the Army reported 10 potential suicides; however, subsequent to the report, four more cases were added bringing May's total to 14 (11 Army National Guard and three Army Reserve):  two have been confirmed as a suicide and 12 cases remain under investigation.  For CY 2013, there have been 81 potential not on active duty suicides (51 Army National Guard and 30 Army Reserve):  40 have been confirmed as suicides and 41 remain under investigation.  Updated not on active duty suicide numbers for CY 2012:  140 (93 Army National Guard and 47 Army Reserve):  138 have been confirmed as suicides and two remain under investigation.

            Soldiers and families in need of crisis assistance can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.  Trained consultants are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year and can be contacted by dialing 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or by visiting their website at

            The Military Crisis Line offers free and confidential support to service members in crisis or anyone who knows a service member who is.  The service is staffed by caring, qualified responders from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), many who have served in the Military themselves.  Support is offered through the crisis line, online chat, and text-messaging services for all service members (Active, National Guard and Reserve) and veterans 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year by visiting the Military Crisis Line website at:; Online Chat at:; sending a text to:  838255 or calling toll free at:  1-800-273-8255, press 1; in Europe Dial:  00800 1273 8255 or DSN 118.  Services are available even if members are not registered with the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) or enrolled in VA health care.

             The Army's comprehensive list of Suicide Prevention Program information is located at:

             Information about the Army's Ready and Resilient campaign is located at:
             Army leaders can access current health promotion guidance in the revised Army Regulation 600-63 (Health Promotion) at: and in Army Pamphlet 600-24 (Health Promotion, Risk Reduction and Suicide Prevention) at

            Suicide prevention training resources for soldiers, leaders, Department of the Army civilians, and family members can be accessed at (requires Army Knowledge Online access to download materials).

             Information about Military OneSource is located at or by dialing the toll-free number 1-800-342-9647 for those residing in the continental U.S. Overseas personnel should refer to the Military OneSource web site for dialing instructions for their specific location.

             Information about the Army's Comprehensive Soldier and Family Fitness Program (CSF2) is located at

             The Defense Centers of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury (DCoE) Outreach Center can be contacted at 1-866-966-1020, via electronic mail at and at
             The website for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is, and the Suicide Prevention Resource Council site is found at

Source:  DOD Announcement, verbatim

Monday, July 22, 2013

Death Memorial

Daniel Ruf with his mother, Audrey

Daniel Ruf died at age 22 on July 21, 2009 in San Francisco’s Pacific Medical Center after working out with Marine Corps recruiters at In-Shape Gym on Tracy Boulevard to lose weight.

I was truly happy for the first time in my life at the age of 19, the day Danny was born. I raised Danny on my own. I guess in many ways we grew up together. We went through our share of life’s ups and downs but together we always could make it to the other end no matter what the struggle and we even managed to come out stronger and closer.

 The 22 years we had together were the best days of my life. He was so much fun. He grew up to be an amazing young man, a best friend to all who knew him and even those who did not… He truly cared about people and wanted to do what he could to help anyone who needed it. Danny was an amazing young man and the best kid a mom could wish for.

 Danny put himself through college by working 2 jobs; he even took the bus to college an hour away until we could get him a car. Danny never complained.  He made the most of every situation by enjoying the moment and time with friends. By the time Danny was 21 he was a GM Certified Mechanic and had his Associates Degree. This is quite an achievement for a boy raised by a single mom who can barely figure out where to put the oil. The economy caused the dealership to close down and Danny became unemployed for the first time, he was scared and not sure what to do. I pushed him to find work and I regret it with all my heart because he met a marine recruiter and was dead in 3 months at the age of 22.

 Danny signed up for the marines on May 1, 2009 with a boot camp date of July 13. Danny was a very muscular man weighing 215 pounds at 5ft9. The marines wanted him to weigh 190. They suggested water pills, laxatives, sauna suit in the sauna and while exercising under a sweat suit and a water only diet. He tried but 190 was an unachievable weight for Danny’s body type. If they had used the neck waist ratio to determine if he was over-weight Danny would not have been required to lose any weight. I found a receipt dated 3/7/09 filled out by the tailor at Jims Formal Wear’s for a tux showing Danny was 5 ft 9 with a weight of 220 over-arm of 57 inches, a waist of 36 inches and a 17 inch neck. This was at his heaviest weight…

 Danny became frustrated because he could not get his weight down even though he was dieting and working out and decided not to join the marines but did not want to let the recruiter down. Finally on July 6, 2009 Danny went in and told them he could not lose the weight and wanted to quit. They were angry and they told him that he had a tremendous opportunity to be “recon” which Danny loved …. and they gave him a new weight requirement of 199 and said they would check into an opening for July 27. So Danny said he would give it one more try.

 The next day they told Danny the 27th was full so he would need to be the 199lbs by July 20th (16lbs in 13 days). On July 14, Danny was 211lbs and the recruiter said that was not good enough and instructed Danny to report the next morning to the recruiter’s gym as his guest for one-on- one training and time in the sauna with the sauna suit under a sweat suit. The day before Danny and a friend had gone to buy movie tickets and the friend wanted to buy Danny a Subway sandwich. Danny did not want to eat but finally agreed and the recruiter actually came out of the recruiting office to the Subway and demanded to know what Danny was doing, reminding him he is on a no food water only diet until he makes weight.

 Danny came in my room on July 14 2009 and said, “Mom I don’t want to wear the sauna suit.”  I told him if the recruiter told him to do it he should listen because they know what will be best for him. I will never ever forget my words. I could have saved my son. He said, “Okay, mom,” and went to bed.

 The next morning we texted back and forth because he said he was not sure if the marines were right for him. He did not know if he could lose the weight and was worried about the 4 year commitment. He told me he was going to try his hardest and if he makes weight he will go and if not then we would just make a new plan, but he hates to fail. Danny said he was at 209lbs after breakfast that morning.
 I texted him, ”How was the sauna?” but never heard back.  The next call I received was from the local hospital telling me they found my number in his phone under “mom” and needed to know if I was Danny’s mom.  They said there was an accident and I needed to get there. I said I was coming from a city away. The lady said, “You need to leave right now.”  I knew then it was bad. I got to the hospital and they would not let me see Danny.  I had to go into a room and they explained that Danny was brain damaged but they did not know the extent because he was unconscious and on life support. I prayed, “Please God, I don’t care how brain damaged he is; please don’t take him from me. “  I know that was selfish but he was the best thing that ever happened to me and I could not imagine life without him.

 Danny had followed the recruiter’s instructions. They told Danny to go into the dry sauna then exercise. After about 40 minutes Danny told the recruiter he did not feel well and they told him to sit down and drink some water. Danny slipped into a coma and when the EMT’s arrived Danny’s temperature was 108 degrees.

 Danny had a heavy sweat suit complete with zip up hoody  jacket with the sauna suit underneath and the only thing the recruiters did was throw water on Danny… they did not remove or unzip any of Danny’s clothes. The recruiter later admitted he had no medical training yet he instructed my son to follow these radical weight loss methods. They should have told my son the loss was impossible and instead of pushing,  ultimately killing my son to make their numbers. The recruiter knew he was wrong, he disposed of the sauna suit and Danny’s pants rather than returning them with Danny’s other things. The other missing item was the guest day pass from the gym. The EMT report did state that they removed a non breathable sauna suit.

 Each day Danny got more and more yellow and swollen. Danny was transported to another hospital in San Francisco where he was to have better care and we were hoping to get him a liver transplant. I have never known anyone who died so I had no idea that he was not going home with me. On the 6th day they came and told me that his organs are all shutting down and there is nothing further they could do. I called my parents and they told me “Well,  why would you care?  You were going to let him go to Afghanistan.”  He never regained consciousness.  I asked that he have pain medicine so he would not feel the life support stopping they said he did and we stopped the blood pressure first and he kept it beating and then after about 2 hours I said, “Okay, stop the breathing machine,” which was the only other life support and he continued for a total of 6 hours. He lived until I called my parents and put the phone to his ear and he heard them and then died seconds after the phone was hung up on July 21, 2009. The cause of death was multi-organ system failure, hyperthermia with dehydration, exercise with occlusive gear, mild cardiomegaly with myocycte hypertrophy.

 When I left the hospital it was all surreal. I still sometimes can’t believe this is my life now.  I wish I could be with him. I find it so hard to find reason to go on with my life. It is so empty. I know we will be together again one day so I try to focus on helping people and making sure to remind people to enjoy what they have because no one knows what the future holds.

 My son was not only strong physically but also had strength of mind. He had the determination, persistence and loyalty to his instructing recruiter to continue to working out as he was instructed by that recruiter (even after telling me the night before he was uncomfortable wearing the sauna suit the recruiter instructed him to wear) all the way to the point of collapse. Danny felt confident that the recruiter was committed to helping him succeed safely by passing on his knowledge and training one-on-one so in return Danny gave him every bit of strength he had.

 The reward for Danny’s devotion was a marine recruiter who came to the hospital to accuse Danny of taking drugs.  He wanted me to know that they may be called for court martial.  Meanwhile, I was at the hospital with my son on life support, who had not come out of a coma for days and had an unspecified amount of definite brain damage. The ultimate betrayal was when the recruiter denied everything under oath. What happened to the few, the proud, the marines?   I guess Danny was not a marine yet so they did not have to show him honor, truthfulness or respect. They did a toxicology test for 150 drugs using the blood from his first day in the hospital and there were no drugs or alcohol in his system other than what they EMT’s gave him. I knew he was not on any drugs. Danny hated drugs and did not want to be around anyone who did them.

 The other recruiter did return to the hospital ICU and told two of my friends that he was sorry for what happened to Danny and that he believed that the marines and Danny were both responsible for pushing too hard. He said Danny was a great kid and that he wanted to take them all out on his quad. I do respect that he had the integrity to come and own up to what happened.  Although later he could not recall making that statement.

 My life is forever changed. Now my days just change one to the next with no real anticipation or happiness. Danny meant everything, to me he was my reason to live. He was my whole world. He truly was my best friend and my family all rolled in one.

 Danny was not the kid who decided to use unsafe methods to quickly lose weight and join the marines like they would like people to believe.  Danny is another recruit killed by military negligence.  I want to make sure that no other mother ever has to go through what I have been through.  I want everyone to know that the recruiters are not all honest and they are not all trained to give the advice they give and you can die from extreme dieting, sauna suits, saunas and exercise.

Audrey Ruf

Friday, July 19, 2013

Death Memorial

PFC Lavena Lynn Johnson
July 27, 1980 – July 19, 2005
Lavena Lynn Johnson Speaks!

Army Releases May 2013 Suicide Information

Army Releases May 2013 Suicide Information

            The Army released suicide data today for the month of May 2013.  During May, among active-duty soldiers, there were 12 potential suicides.  None have been confirmed as suicides and 12 remain under investigation.  For April 2013, the Army reported 11 potential suicides among active-duty soldiers: five have been confirmed as suicides and six are under investigation.  For calendar year 2013, there have been 64 potential active-duty suicides:  31 have been confirmed as suicides and 33 remain under investigation.  Updated active-duty suicide numbers for calendar year (CY) 2012: 183 (162 have been confirmed as suicides and 21 remain under investigation).

            During May 2013, among reserve component soldiers who were not on active duty, there were 10 potential suicides (eight Army National Guard and two Army Reserve).  None have been confirmed as suicides and 10 remain under investigation.  For April 2013, among that same group, the Army reported 16 potential suicides; however, subsequent to the report, one more case was added bringing April's total to 17 (14 Army National Guard and three Army Reserve).  None have been confirmed as suicides and 17 cases remain under investigation.  For CY 2013, there have been 70 potential not on active duty suicides (45 Army National Guard and 25 Army Reserve):  22 have been confirmed as suicides and 48 remain under investigation.  Updated not on active duty suicide numbers for CY 2012:  140 (93 Army National Guard and 47 Army Reserve).  Of these, 138 have been confirmed as suicides and two remain under investigation.

            Soldiers and families in need of crisis assistance can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.  Trained consultants are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year and can be contacted by dialing 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or by visiting their website at .

            The Military Crisis Line offers free and confidential support to service members in crisis or anyone who knows a service member who is. The service is staffed by caring, qualified responders from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), many who have served in the military themselves.  Support is offered through the crisis line, online chat, and text-messaging services for all service members (active, National Guard and reserve) and veterans 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year by visiting the Military Crisis Line website at ; Online Chat  at: ; sending a text to: 838255 or calling toll free at:  1-800-273-8255, Press 1; in Europe Dial:  00800 1273 8255 or DSN 118.  Services are available even if members are not registered with the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs or enrolled in VA health care.

            The Army's comprehensive list of Suicide Prevention Program information is located at .

            Information about the Army's Ready and Resilient campaign is located at .
            Army leaders can access current health promotion guidance in the revised Army Regulation 600-63 (Health Promotion) at: and in Army Pamphlet 600-24 (Health Promotion, Risk Reduction and Suicide Prevention) at .

             Suicide prevention training resources for soldiers, leaders, Department of the Army civilians and family members can be accessed at (requires Army Knowledge Online access to download materials).

             Information about Military OneSource is located at or by dialing the toll-free number 1-800-342-9647 for those residing in the continental U.S.  Overseas personnel should refer to the Military OneSource web site for dialing instructions for their specific location.

            Information about the Army's Comprehensive Soldier and Family Fitness Program (CSF2) is located at .

             The Defense Centers of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury (DCoE) Outreach Center can be contacted at 1-866-966-1020, via electronic mail at and at .

             The website for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is , and the Suicide Prevention Resource Council site is found at .

Source:  DOD Announcement, verbatim

Monday, July 15, 2013

Death Memorial

Richard Thomas Davis

“He was murdered on July 15 2003 upon return from Iraq.  He had witnessed His Battalion Commander murder two Iraq prisoners that he was watching. They had my son murdered to keep him quiet.  After all they didn’t want Bush, Chaney and Rumsfield to get embarrassed about a war crime.”

 Lanny Davis, father 

Death Memorial

PFC Jason Pirro

Our son, PFC Jason Pirro, wanted to provide a better life for his wife and daughter.  He wanted to honor his Country.  He wanted to be a Marine.  Jason joined the Marines in November of 2003 and left for boot camp at Parris Island, SC in January of 2004.  Shortly thereafter, he found out that his wife was pregnant with their second child.  Our son finished basic training and completed his Crucibles with a broken foot.

In May 2004, Jason went to Camp Geiger’s School of Infantry in North Carolina.  On July 9, 2004, Jason called home to ask about an old car we had and said that even if he had to work two jobs, he couldn’t wait to get out of “this hell hole.”  On the 14th of July at approximately 10 p.m., Jason talked to his wife, Christina.  He told her that he loved her and would call in a couple of days to let her know what was going on.  Jason had also talked to a couple of his friends and had several jobs waiting for him when he got home.

On July 15, 2004, three Marines came to our door.  They told us that Jason was found hanging in the barracks.  They would not answer any of our questions.  They told us that there would be an investigation into his death.  We were told that upon the completion of the investigation, someone from the Military would sit down with us and go over the findings of the investigation.  That never happened.

On July 18, 2004, the Marines had a memorial service for Jason at Camp Geiger.  During the service, the clergy stated that PFC Jason Pirro committed suicide.  Our family was not notified of any press release, nor were we notified when the investigation was completed.  We have not seen any member of the Marines or other Military personnel since the initial interview with NCIS in October 2004.
We have never been officially notified that the investigation into my son’s death was closed.  As of this date, we have not received his “dog tags.”

Over the last two and a half years, I have not had much cooperation from the Military.  We have tracked down several Marines who knew Jason and agree that he did not commit suicide.  A couple of Jason’s fellow Marines believe, as we do, that he was murdered.

We have been requesting as much information as we can from the Military under the Freedom of Information Act.  Although we did receive some information, there are a lot of missing documents and photographs.

We have been in touch with our representatives in Congress for help in getting the investigation reopened.  As of this date, we have heard nothing.  We are being ignored by our Military and our Government.

The Military says our son committed suicide.  We strongly disagree with their opinion, but they will not take the time or effort to meet with us or even talk to us.   The documents that we have received and the photographs of the death scene (which arrived on Mother’s Day weekend in May 2006) show enough discrepancies to back our belief that PFC Jason Pirro was murdered while stationed at Camp Geiger, NC.

PFC Jason Pirro loved his family.  His daughters have been deprived of a loving and caring father.  His wife has lost her best friend, companion and the man she loved.  We have lost our son.  PFC Jason Pirro has lost his future.

We want the Marines who did this to our son to be brought to justice and to take responsibility for their actions.  We want justice for PFC Jason Pirro.

Are you willing to help us?  If you can help us right this wrong, please contact us through this website.

Gary and Vicki Van Horn
Link to blog:  Justice for Jason Pirro

If you have any information about this case, contact the Van Horns through this website

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Death Memorial

PVT Nicholas Davis, 1986 - 2005
Nicholas signed up for the Army on June 24, 2003 through the Delayed Entry Program when he was 17 years old. On January 20, 2004, in the middle of his senior year, he left for basic training. He was the youngest one in his platoon; (Ruff Ryder, A. Co. 1 – 19th INF, ITB, 9075 Holcomb Dr., Ft. Benning, GA 31905) he excelled at PT and was asked to help those soldiers who couldn’t keep up. Nicholas entered Jump School at Ft. Benning on May 10th. On May 25th his parachute failed and he fell 1250 feet. Amazingly, he did not die; however, his left ankle was severely injured, resulting in surgery and permanent  damage.
Ironically, his parachute and gear were missing when his father inquired about it the next day.
Despite his injured status, Nick was sent to Fort Wainwright, Alaska in July 2004. We, as parents, wondered who ordered that? How did he pass a physical to go? What was the plan for him when he got there? Nicholas was just 18 years and one month old at the time and had no counseling regarding the parachute accident and possible post traumatic stress.
When Nick arrived in Alaska he was in an air-cast and on crutches. It is my belief that this is when he began enduring abuse from his sergeants and others in his platoon. This unit was preparing to deploy to Iraq and Nick, who was still holding a Ranger status, was not fit for battle or even for regular duty. He held odd jobs within his unit for a while and then with the permission of someone on Ft. Wainwright, enrolled in The University of Alaska, Fairbanks.
His reassignment of barracks seemed fishy to me. They moved him across base where he would have to travel to get to the mess hall. I remember him talking about how hard it was for him to get around, how those who were assigned to give him rides and help him out were not doing well by him. I remember talking about for us (me, Nick’s father and his Aunt Becky in the Navy) the military was like a family; we took care of each other. But it wasn’t like that for Nick.
The sergeants and fellow soldiers in A Co., 2nd Battalion, 1st Infantry Regiment, Ft. Wainwright, AK began tormenting and threatening one of  their own. A portion of his unit even paid a visit to one of Nick’s friends from college, threatening to beat him up if he did not stop associating with Nick. He was an injured, isolated soldier who wanted to serve his country however he could. He would have done anything in his power to remain one of the elite. But he was no good to his unit and they saw him as an easy target. He feared for his life several times. It became hell for him and Nicholas saw no way to survive other than to leave.
Nick went AWOL for the month of February 2005. He was set up by an acquaintance and caught by his company commander and the MP’s. It was reported to me that he was not taken in easily. The MP’s turned their backs while the unit beat him up. It was soon after this that Nicholas attempted suicide. I’ve been told that the mental ward was where my son felt safe. After a couple of weeks he was returned to his unit. In April he left again, this time flying to his home town in West Virginia. He stayed with some friends, got a job and enrolled in college. But Nick was a patriot and knew the commitment he had made. He decided to return to the Army, hoping that he would not be sent back to his unit in Alaska.
He was taken to the US Army Personnel Control Facility (PCF), US Army Armor Center, Ft. Knox, KY. The day he arrived. near the end of May, he signed paperwork for a dishonorable discharge in lieu of a court martial.  Somehow, the abuse he suffered in Alaska found him at Ft. Knox. On June 15th he was admitted to a hospital in Radcliff, KY for another suicide attempt. Again, he chose the safety of the mental ward. On June 27th his discharge was approved. Nick was released from the hospital on July 12th. He made arrangements to go home on the 14th but he never made it. Nicholas was murdered in the latrine and hung on the back of a latrine door in the 7pm hour of July 13, 2005.
My son was a young soldier who should have been protected and mentored by anyone his senior. He was an eager learner with desires to help people. After the parachute accident he somehow slipped through the cracks of the system and all of a sudden no one knew what to do with him. One commander after another let him slide through without concern for his well-being.

Hundreds of suspicious deaths occur within our military branches each year. Our military kills their own soldiers to satisfy their needs.
Be careful: if you see too much,
they’ll kill you.
If you struggle with something,
they will kill you.
If you ask the
wrong questions,
they’ll kill you.
If you are in the wrong
even simply by chance…
they will kill you.
You are not protected by the government you serve. The people who “stand behind you” are the ones who will stab you in the back. They will give the order to have you killed.
Kim Slapak-Smith
If you have any information about this case, please contact me through this website.

Death Memorial

Sgt. Benjamin Thomas Griego
As we heard of our son’s death:
Our 26 year old son, Sgt. Benjamin Thomas Griego, was found dead in Army housing at White Sands Missile Range on July 13, 2007.  He was serving our country as Cadre, on his second term enlistment, representing the New Mexico Army National Guard. His duty involved training military branches of service for transition to a Warrior Transition course previously transferred to Dona Ana Range from Ft. Knox, Kentucky.

When we first heard of our son’s death, there was no official report released from the Army National Guard to his wife or to us, his parents.  The information we received early that morning on July 13th, was that our son had died.  The information was received from the public through their phone calls and visits of sympathy and condolences.

As we tried to make sense of this, we brushed it off as gossip since the rumor had come from a Wal-Mart employee.  Later, we learned that it had been channeled down from a sergeant on post at White Sands Missile Range to a family member employed at the local Wal-Mart in Clovis, NM.  That in itself was devastating and shocking to find this out in this manner.  We were on the phone early that morning frantically trying to make contact with someone from the White Sands Missile Range and the Army National Guard in Santa Fe, NM who would put these rumors to rest.  But to my disbelief, we were notified hours later that the worst had turned out to be true, our beloved son was gone.

Jeronimo, Ben’s father, was the last person to speak to Ben just hours before his death. He had made his father promise that he would call him while he was on the range the next day. We had made plans with Ben to pick up his father at the airport in El Paso, TX Monday, July 16th after duty. His itemized phone statement showed two phone calls were made to housing on base that evening.  We believe that he was trying to make accommodations for his father’s visit.

Ben was 26 years old, and the youngest of my three sons.  He kept close contact with us.  We spoke to him every day, we knew our son, and nothing was out of the ordinary the day prior. Everything was going well for him, except for altercations he had been having with three unit members who had recently returned from Iraq.  A DVD was given to us by his commander on the night of the Rosary, July 19th , which clearly demonstrates that problems existed.

My son presented a formal class on “Integrity”, ordered by the commander.  The commander,  first sergeant, and unit members were present.  The class was recorded on a DVD.  Some of the unit members admitted to “bum rushing” Ben before he presented the class.  On the same DVD, a death threat was made.  This was three weeks prior to his death.  The unit members admitted to bum rushing him and the commanding officer, the highest commanding officer present, asked if it was “round two”.  She was well aware what was going on.

Criminal Investigation Division
Our experience with the CID is that they were quick to close his case, claiming self-infliction and filling  in the blanks without thoroughly investigating claims.  We, his family, had real concerns and questions and presented concrete evidence.  The CID Senior Agent from El Paso, Texas seemed too bothered to return phone calls and delayed and rescheduled meeting after meeting.  That went on for months.  The CID Agent scheduled a meeting in November, 2007 and finally met with us in March, 2008.

We could not and do not understand why the CID did not keep or know the whereabouts of Ben’s blood  stained clothes he wore the night of his death.  They were not aware that the Ft. Bliss Casualty office had picked up and washed the clothes, and made sure to destroy evidence in an on-going investigation.  Even to this day some blood stains still remain.

We discovered, through emails from a NM Representative (now Senator) in February 2009, that the CID closed my son’s case in October 12, 2008.   No official notification was given to the family about the case being closed.  How do they not think that this does not warrant personal and public outrage?  We are still in contact with the state representatives and senators in the hope of getting some support from them.

Autopsy Report
The original autopsy report was written exactly the way we heard  it from the men in his unit.  These were the men who were with him the night he died; the men with whom our son had altercations; the men who admitted to bum rushing Ben on the DVD; the men who had threatened him, as recorded on
the DVD, and the men who served as honor guards in burying our son.  They made our son sound like he was a drunk, pulling pranks, and that he premeditated his death by giving a key to his roommate that night, but in fact the roommate had a key months prior to his death.

The original autopsy report, which had erroneous entries of  race and weight, and another report with
testimony from the members who we suspected of killing him, became final legal documents.  We question why they would make these entries when the final report of the investigation had not been completed or finalized.

In the original autopsy report, physical evidence was noted:  a singed eyebrow, cut index finger, split
lip, and the examiner claimed his hyoid bone was intact.  After having an independent second autopsy report completed, we are told that his hyoid bone is missing. We, Ben’s family, request to have the hyoid bone returned; this clearly belongs with my son’s remains.  Why would the Army Examiner remove my son’s hyoid bone, and keep it without notifying the family?  According the Pathologist from the Department of the Army, they kept it for evidence.  The family asks,  “evidence of what?  Is it broken and the cause of death strangulation?”

Every day we feel the void that my family experiences in their daily lives, as I see it in them and they
see it in us.

We have read many other stories of other soldiers’ questionable deaths and it saddens us that we share  the same grief, emptiness, and alienation from what has taken place with our children in the military.  My thoughts and prayers go out to you.  God Bless.

Judy & Jeronimo Griego
Link to interview:  Even More Suspicious Non-combat Deaths

GRIEGO FAMILY:  please contact me with your new email address.  There are messages for you!
If you know anything about this case, contact the Griegos through this website.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Opinion -- Polypharmacy to Treat Psychiatric Disorders in Military Personnel
Dr. Fred Baughman, MD :

Antipsychotic drugs are "unfit for human consumption"

by Benjamin Merhav

 In the interview pasted below, Dr. Fred Baughman, MD the renowned American neurologist, repeats once more his scientifically based warnings against psychiatry and against its atrocities ("treatments"). However, he would allow talk therapy by the shrinks just to avoid the poisonous psychiatric drugs.

It should be reminded, though, that Dr. Fred Baughman has proven that psychiatry is 100% fraud, namely, that it has no value as a therapeutic, nor as a medical speciality. True that talk is better than psychiatric drugs or any other psychiatric atrocity, but only as a temporary measure. What about the psychiatric stigma to which every patient is a victim - would it not persist even if psychiatry would be confined to talk only

"Interview with Fred Baughman MD: Better to Talk than to Drug

by Michael F. Shaughnessy
1) Dr. Baughman, as more and more evidence and data comes to the attention of the medical community, it seems that the side effects, and possible suicide or heart death render many ” drugs ” (I don’t call certain things medication any more) simply dangerous. And for many conditions, it may simply be better to listen, and counsel many of our veterans. Agree or disagree?
As there is no psychiatric condition/diagnosis that has been proved to be a disorder/disease/physical abnormality (gross—evident to the naked eye, palpation, etc.), microscopic (cancer cells, infection, inflammation) or chemical—as in diabetes, uremia, PKU, galactosemia) it can never be said that the risk (morbidity, mortality) vs. benefit (to make normal or more nearly normal) ratio of any drug “treatment” in psychiatry is positive and medically justifiable.  In virtually all cases patients are told psychiatric conditions are “disorders”/ “diseases” for purposes of obtaining informed consent which, given the “chemical imbalance” lie is virtually never a valid informed consent.  And yet, this is the prevailing standard of practice in psychiatry today.

Dr John D. Griffith, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry, Vanderbilt University School of Medicine presented the truth of the matter about amphetamines and about all drugs—exogenous chemicals:

“I would like to point out that every drug, however innocuous, has some degree of toxicity. A drug, therefore, is a type of poison and its poisonous qualities must be carefully weighed against its therapeutic usefulness. A problem, now being considered in most of the Capitols of the Free World, is whether the benefits derived from Amphetamines outweigh their toxicity. It is the consensus of the World Scientific Literature that the Amphetamines are of very little benefit to mankind. They are, however, quite toxic. …After many years of clinical trials it is now evident that this antidepressant effect of Amphetamines is very brief- on the order of days. If a patient attempts to overcome this tolerance to the drug, he runs the risk of becoming addicted and even more depressed.”

Griffith, I would say, was the last honest psychiatrist.

2) Obviously, what many veterans have experienced has been extremely traumatic. Thus it is understandable that the “tincture of time” will be needed to help them recover- do you concur?
I concur. My friend, Professor Emeritus Patrick Groff  (San Diego State University, School of Education) had this to say: “As a South Pacific combat Navy veteran in WW II, I have often wondered why there were so few of us who became psychologically “injured” by our duty, while so many of modern-day military personnel supposedly suffer so badly in that regard. For one thing, I cannot believe that fighting the Japanese navy was less scary than is soldiers’ duty in Iraq today.”

Where is the evidence that the Iraq and Afghanistan wars are more horrific than those fought against the Japanese or the Nazis? Might it be because–as is
fact—those who fight (and many who don’t) are all told that PTSD, “clinical depression,” GAD, OCD, etc., etc. are “brain diseases,”  “horrible diseases” sure to get worse unless the drugs—the “chemical balancers” for the “chemical imbalances” of the brain are taken as ordered, as prescribed.  Some, I am sure, have had extraordinarily disturbing, fearful experiences requiring more than a “tincture of time”– but, love and understanding without end as they return to the womb of the community and family and empathetic talk therapy—individual and group.

3) Many times, an alcoholic will say that only another alcoholic really understands. Could this be true for our veterans who have really experienced things outside the usual realm of events?
I find that most soldiers, veterans, their families, and survivors strongly advocate cutbacks in the military’s use of prescription psychiatric drugs while urging that they make available all manner of non-drugging therapies, most of all group psychotherapy—talk therapy.  In that they have no actual diseases this is all that makes sense?

4) Group therapy has quite often been seen as important in many realms. 
Should PTSD vets be participating in a group therapy experience?
Research has shown that group (talk) therapy is more effective than no (talk) therapy at all but not that it is superior to other non-drugging therapies.
Nonetheless, group therapy is most widely supported by soldiers, veterans and their families.  No form of talk therapy or non-drug therapy carries the inevitable morbidity and mortality that attends pharmacological therapy—especially psychotropic polypharmacy—a deadly symptomatic crapshoot.

5) Dr. Baughman, a global question- has the field of “psychiatry” become simply the pushing of pills with little encouragement, warmth, understanding, empathy, care and concern?
Tragically all in mental health use and believe in the DSM to some extent and bandy such pseudo-disease terms about sticking them on real people–children, most vulnerable of all. We know what happens when a label sticks–be it plain old “mentally ill,” “seriously mentally ill,” or “really, really seriously, mentally ill (discovered and described by my colleague, Chuck Ruby).  In 2005 American Psychiatric Association (APA) president, Steven Sharfstein, confessed that American psychiatry had “allowed the bio-psycho-social model to become the bio-bio-bio model (while) accepting kickbacks and bribes” from pharmaceutical companies leading to the over-use of medication and neglect of other approaches.  The term “bio-psycho-social” would have us believe that psychiatry and what it does is equal thirds biology, psychology and social which has now become entirely, bio-bio-bio. The fact of the matter is that there is no biology to psychiatry (or psychology)-none whatsoever. The extent to which anyone believe psychiatry deals with disease–biological abnormality is psychiatry’s and big pharma big lie bought and paid for, just as confessed by APA President Sharfstein. All of their “biological” research done on never-biological constructs has been bought and paid for by big pharma and is a total fraud. Believing that any part of a bipolar, ADHD, Asperger, or a conduct-disordered child is biological and there it is–their “need,” their justification, for biological treatment–pharmacologic most of all. No question, this is the greatest heath care fraud in history.

6) Dr. Baughman, we all know that there are copious amounts of alcohol and illegal drugs out there- and when patients mix alcohol, drugs and prescribed medications, this lessens inhibitions and causes other problems.  Are there really some very specific groups that should not be given certain psychotropic medication?
Here, I must elaborate.

On February 7, 2008, Surgeon General Eric B. Schoomaker, announced there had been “a series, a sequence of deaths” in the military suggesting this was “often a consequence of the use of multiple prescription and nonprescription medicines and alcohol.”

In March 2008 Sicouri and Antzelevitch (2008) concluded: (1) “A number of antipsychotic and antidepressant drugs can increase the risk of ventricular arrhythmias and sudden cardiac death,” and  (2)”Antipsychotics can increase cardiac risk even at low doses whereas antidepressants do it generally at high doses or in the setting of drug combinations.”

On May 24, 2008, the Charleston (WV) Gazette announced “Vets taking Post Traumatic Stress Disorder drugs die in sleep,”  Andrew White, Eric Layne, Nicholas Endicott and Derek Johnson, all in their twenties, died in their sleep in early 2008. There were no signs of suicide or of a multi-drug “overdose” leading to coma. All had been diagnosed “PTSD”–a psychological diagnosis, not a disease, and all were on the same prescribed drug cocktail, Seroquel (antipsychotic), Paxil (antidepressant) and Klonopin (benzodiazepine) and all appeared “normal” upon retiring.

On April 13, 2009, I wrote the Office of  Surgeon General Schoomaker asking: “On February 7, 2008 the Surgeon General said there had been ‘a series, a sequence of deaths.’ Has the study of these deaths been published?” On April 17, 2009 the Office of the Surgeon General responded, “The assessment is still pending and has not been released yet.”

In a press release, (PRNewswire, May 19, 2009) I called upon the military for an immediate embargo of all antipsychotics and antidepressants until there has been a complete, wholly public, clarification of the extent and causes of this epidemic of probable sudden cardiac death.”

Googling “dead in bed,” “dead in barracks,” by April 16, 2009, we had Googled 74 probable sudden cardiac deaths; by May 2010: 128, and, by November 2, 2011: 247.  Today: 351 [see <> Soldiers Dying in their Sleep]

Pfc. Ryan Alderman, was on a cocktail of psych drugs when found unresponsive, dying in his barracks. Sudden cardiac death was confirmed by an ECG on  the scene.  And yet officials de-classified his death and reversed the diagnosis, calling it  a “suicide.”

In June 2011, a DoD Health Advisory Group backed a highly questionable policy of “polypharmacy” asserting: “…multiple psychotropic meds may be appropriate in select individuals.”  In fact psychotropic drug polypharmacy is never safe, scientific, or medically justifiable.   From 2001 to the present, US Central Command has given deploying troops 180 day supplies of prescription psychotropic drugs–Seroquel included. In a May 2010 report of its Pain Management Task Force, the Army endorsed Seroquel in 25- or 50-milligram doses as a ‘sleep aid.’ Over the past decade, $717 million was spent for Risperdal and $846 million for Seroquel, for a total of $1.5 billion when neither Risperdal nor Seroquel have been proven safe or effective for PTSD or sleep disorders. Meanwhile Heather Bresch, daughter of U.S. Sen. Joe Manchin, (D-WV) was recently named CEO of WV drug-maker Mylan Inc., that recently contracted with the DoD for over 20 million doses of Seroquel.
Stan White, father of deceased veteran Andrew White, and I have repeatedly called upon the Department of Defense, Veterans Administration, House and Senate Armed Services and Senate Veterans Affairs Committees to tell concerned Americans and the families of fallen heroes what psychiatric drugs each combat and non-combat soldier and veteran were on. For the most part we are not even accorded the courtesy of an acknowledgement.

While such probable sudden cardiac deaths, continue, right along  with their practice of psychotropic drug polypharmacy—the probable cause–the Department of Defense continues to refuse to acknowledge that any such deaths are occurring.  Why should a volunteer foirce of healthy 20-somethings need hundreds of millions of dollars worlth of antipsychotic drugs per year, billions of dollars-worth of psychotropics? Do they expect us to believe all of these deaths, still escalating, are “suicides,” accidental deaths,” or deaths due to soldier/victim-abuse of illegal or prescribed drugs?

Further dispelling any doubt, at the May 24, 2013 Heart Rhythm Society meeting Dr. Audrey Uy-Evanado presented data from the ongoing  Oregon Sudden Unexplained Death Study showing that both the second-generation (Zyprexa, Seroquel Risperdal) as well as the first-generation antipsychotic agents (Haldol, Thorazine) proved to be independently associated with a three to four-fold increased risks of sudden cardiac death, according to results from a large, population-based study. However, schizophrenia itself was not linked to an increased risk of Sudden unexplained risk for the simple reason that no psychiatric diagnosis/disorder has been proved to be a physical abnormality/disease.

Clearly, the military should have embargoed the use of antipsychotic drugs long ago.  They are, in fact, unfit for human consumption."

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Death Memorial

SSgt. Justin Lee Garza, June 1, 1981 - July 11, 2009

Justin Garza was born June 1, 1981 in Taft, Texas.  He was the youngest of four boys born to Teri Garza (currently Teri Smith).

Justin was called Jon by his family and close friends.  As the youngest, Jon had to learn how to be tough at a very young age, which, of course, he did and excelled at.  Jon was a truly intelligent boy.  As he grew up we knew he had an intelligence all his own.  He assisted his older brothers with their homework.  His outstanding intelligence caused him to get bored with what was handed him while he was going to school.  He was never truly challenged enough.  That is why he did homework for his older brothers.  Jon decided school was not for him and he got in trouble for disrespect and was suspended a few times.  I had to change his school.  At this time Jon was about sixteen.  Jon and I decided to remove him from public school when he was in his teens.  Jon could not figure out what to do with himself, so being a single mother at the time, I decided what I thought was best for him.  I sent him to a type of boot camp in Aberdeen, Maryland.  I believe he lasted three days and decided it was not for him.  As this was a voluntary school, I was called to come and pick him up.  Once home, Jon found a full-time job and enrolled at our local college and received his G.E.D.

Jon joined he Army at the age of twenty.  Once he completed basic and AIT, he was stationed in Ansbach, Germany for, I believe, about three years.  During this time, he was deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom at the age of twenty-one.  While there, Jon earned an AAM.  This deployment turned out to be very difficult for Jon in more ways than I will ever know.  Jon had to kill his first person.  It was kill or be killed.  To this day, I do not believe Jon ever got over this and suffered deeply within himself.  He thought of himself as a monster.

Jon returned to Iraq again in support of Operation Enduring Freedom.  During this deployment he was injured, not seriously, but enough to leave another scar on such a young man.  I was never informed that he was injured and when we finally talked about it all, Jon told me that I was not to be notified when he was injured, only when he died (which, of course, is another story in itself).  All in all, Jon was deployed six times in seven years — too much for such a young person.
Jon earned the following awards/medals while enlisted in the Army:
  • two Army Achievement Medals
  • two Army Commendation Medals
  • two Army Good Conduct Medals
  • National Defense Service Medal
  • Army Service Ribbon
  • Overseas Service Ribbon (a few)
  • Global War on Terrorism Expeditionary Medal
  • Global War on Terrorism Service Medal
  • Iraqi Campaign Medal
  • Driver’s Badge
  • He attended the Preliminary Leadership Development Course and the Basic Non Commissioned Officer Course
  • Two foreign awards
  • Polish Award
  • Award from Holland for his 100 mile march in uniform and 45lb rucksack
  • Competed in the German marksman competition
  • Received the German sportsman badge
  • Operation Victory Strike
As you can tell, my son worked hard for the Army (Alpha Braves) and gave all he had to give.  He gave the Alpha Braves his blood, sweat, tears.  He gave his all for them.

Now let’s talk about why I am writing this:  My son committed suicide on July 11, 2009.  I feel that the Army let my son down and that when he needed them the most, they were not there for him.  All I can do is lay out the facts as I know them and hope that I save one soldier, one mother from going through the awful pain and grieving that Jon’s three brothers, extended family, friends, and I are going through.

I need to take us all back a few years and try to begin the story of Jon’s ending.  As stated earlier, Jon’s first deployment to Iraq was when he was twenty-one.  How traumatic could that have been?  Not only did he see what he saw and went through what he went through — he actually had to decide to kill another person, which is totally against all he knew.  When Jon came home from Iraq, he came straight home to see me.  I can say that he had no  counseling.  He was just sent home and sent on leave to deal the best way he could.  I can tell you it had an impact on my son.  It took him quite awhile to readjust to live in the States.  He did not talk much about this experience as he knew I could never relate to what he saw or went through.  I spent about a week or so with my son and could tell that he was different, but I had no idea how to talk to him or how to help him through this.
Jon deployed numerous times while in Germany.  He supported Operation Victory Strike II in Poland.  While there he was the American liaison to the Polish Army.  He deployed to Normandy, France, to host the 60th Anniversary of D-Day and also went to Holland to compete in a 100 mile, four-day rucksack march.

During the years, Jon would talk about how he wanted to volunteer to go back overseas.  He said he felt more comfortable there and I believed him.  It was hard for him here in the States, trying to defend all that was going on and yet not being able to discuss it with his friends or family.  Soon, the only friends he had were his Army buddies.  Yes, we still talked and emailed, but it was never the same as before his first deployment to Iraq.  He started coming home to visit less and less, always saying he was bus and had to be there for his unit.  At that time, I know I lost my baby and did not know how to get him back, how to be close to him like we were before.  He did come home for a few holidays, special occasions, and a family vacation, but it would be few and far between.  We did get him home for, I believe, two Christmas’ in a row.  It think it was easier for him to talk to us on the phone and email than to see us face to face, as we could then see his depression and desperation.
Please excuse the long background.  I want everyone to know who my son was before the Army and while in the Army.  He loved the Army and excelled in all that he did for the Army.  I have reviewed all the military records I have and can tell you my son got written up for the excellence and motivation he showed in his work and all that he brought out in his soldiers as well.  He felt most at home with the Alpha Braves; he loved them and worked as hard as he could to be worthy of them.
My son got reassigned to Ft. Gordon, Georgia in March of 2009.  He, for whatever reason, could not settle in.  He felt alone and abandoned there.  He felt like he just did not fit in, but during this time he again gave 100% to his training and to Ft. Gordon.  For whatever reason, looking at all his letters, emails, and talking to his buddies, I believe this was the beginning of the end for my son.  I truly believe he had PTSD and will explain a little later.

The downhill started for my son in May 2009.  On or around May 15, 2009, my son used his web cam and emailed and talked with a friend of his.  During this conversation, he had letters strewn all over the floor and was talking about being a monster and wanting to stop the pain and commit suicide.  His friend talked him out of it at that time, or at least so we thought.  On May 22, 2009, my son wrecked his car in a suicide attempt and again he survived.  At some point in June 2009 (the Army will not provide dates to me) my son went AWOL.  He was tracked by his credit card receipts.  He was headed to Texas and along the way he bought a shot gun and some alcohol and was in a hotel.  Family and some of his Army buddies tried calling him all day, but he would not answer his phone.  When one of his closest Army buddies got ahold of him, he told my son he would come to him.  Instead, one of his superiors found him and took him to Metroplex Hospital in Killeen, Texas.  From the records I found in my son’s car after his death, it looks like he only spent a few days at Metroplex and then was transferred to Darnall Army Hospital on the 19th of June.  He hated Darnall (which he told his Uncle, Gary Garza.)  It seemed Metroplex did more for him.  He was in Darnall Army Hospital for about ten days.  When Darnall released him, they released him with specific instructions, as follows:

24 hour adult supervision
Safeguard the home:  make sure there is not access to any weapons, knives, medications, guns, or any other items that can be used in a harmful manner.
Discharge level:  Acute Psychiatric
He was discharged on June 30, 2009 with adjustment disorder with mixed disturbance of emotion and conduct.  Depressed mood.

His first follow-up visit was scheduled for July 9, 2009.  I have a message on his phone stating that there is a backup/mix up with counselors and if he does not hear anything by Monday the 14th to give a call.  Well, he committed suicide on the 11th.  There were also messages from a chaplain.
Okay, who was the “24 hour adult supervision” for my son?  Who went to his house with him to ensure there were no weapons?  He shot himself in the head.  All his appointments were listed as “pending.”  Again, why a delay in counseling and why no 24 hour supervision?  When he was discharged from Darnall, Ft. Gordon did not want him.  They realized he needed to back with the Alpha Braves.  Well, Fort Hood had not processed him in, so again he was alone without a Unit, not able to be in formation or on base, so he was alone in an apartment all day with his thoughts.  He was not receiving pay, as the Army still had him listed as AWOL.  He could not pay his bills and had to borrow money from his Uncle Gary.

I was never informed of any of the above –  that my son had an accident, that he was AWOL, or that he was suicidal.  If I would have known, I wold have flown to be with him.  The Army robbed me of a life with my son and at the very least a chance to see him again and tell him that I loved him.  I did not get to say goodbye.  My son filled out all the required paperwork and questionnaires tat Darnall Hospital gave him and knew the answers they were looking for.  Why would you have someone counsel him who had never been through what my young son had gone through?  How could they understand what he was feeling and how did they miss the PTSD?  Hell, I could have counseled him!  I, at least, knew my son and who he is/was and knew that he was pulling the wool over these people’s eyes.

Once we got the news of my son’s death (By the way, I was never formally notified that he passed away) we headed to Texas.  We had to go through my son’s storage shed and car.  In his car, I found numerous letters addressed to himself, to me, to his Unit, and to a friend.  These letters were dated May 15, 2009 and he died on July 11, 2009.  What the hell!  Someone had to have noticed the change in him.  My son was dating a girl and she was in Texas and my son’s best friend was a friend of hers.  I have a very disturbing letter that he wrote and you can tell that PTSD had hit him strong.  I am willing to share most of each one of these letters so that the Army and the general public can see how my son slipped through the cracks.

Believe it or not, this is just a general overview of all that took place.  If you are interested in my son’s story, please contact me.  My son asked in the letter to me and the letter he left on his laptop and to his best friend that his story be told.  If this even saves one soldier and one mother from going through what I went through, then telling his story will be worth it.  I will be my son’s voice for as long as I can and to whoever will listen to me.

Teri J. Smith, mother of SSgt. Justin Lee Garza
You can contact Teri Smith through this website by clicking here.

Monday, July 08, 2013

Grieving parents sue Air Force for answers in daughter's death

The grieving parents of a 19-year-old Idaho woman who died serving her country thousands of miles from home say the U.S. Air Force won't give them information about the circumstances of her death.

Airman 1st Class Kelsey Sue Anderson of Orofino died June 9, 2011, at Andersen Air Force Base on the island of Guam, a U.S. territory in the Pacific Ocean 3,300 miles west of Hawaii. The military has reported she committed suicide.

But Chris and Adelia Sue Anderson, her parents, filed a lawsuit last month in U.S. District Court to force the Air Force to respond to their Freedom of Information Act request seeking more information about how their daughter died.

Read the entire story here.

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Monday, July 01, 2013

Death Memorial

Jesse Bartel

My name is Lisa Parris, I currently live in rural Montana. I lost my only child, my son Jesse Bartel, age 20, July 1, 2003.  He was 17 when he enlisted right out of high school, induction date 9-11-2000. He did his basic training at Ft. Knox, AIT at Aberdeen Proving Grounds, and was stationed at Ft. Hood for his MOS D 52 Generator Mechanic, and some radar, 1/21 C Battery, Field Artillery,1st Cavalry Division. He was diagnosed as bi-polar, mismedicated, and took his life by hanging July 1, 2003, stateside. Although he had been on suicide watch the week before, the family never knew, the Army kept us shut out.

My son was born March 28, 1983 at 12:46 a.m. in Ardmore, Ok. He was a beautiful child inside and out. He was a good kid, a great young man with a bright future. He was loving, caring, compassionate, a good friend, and with his love or children, especially special needs, he would have been a great father when that time came.

He loved to play football, Tae Kwon Do, work on cars or motorcycles with his step dad, physical things. He loved his grandparents very much, he actually lived with them during his high school days-they had better school district and I was working many hours and my husband (Viet Nam Vet combat, disabled, decorated) was having multiple surgeries due to injuries sustained during his service. I was unable to keep everything in order, and the school district we lived in was riddled with gangs and drugs. It was not a good situation. It was a very difficult decision to let him go, but it was best for him. We remained very close and he was happy he could go to a school without problems. He was also very happy to spend time with his grandparents.

He wanted a college education, he had a football scholarship but lost it when he injured his knee and ankle, and we couldn’t afford his education. He admired his step dad, he was 101st, SF, MI, and thought that would be a good way to do 2 things at once-serve his country and earn a college education. He had so many plans for after college, and we hoped he would settle down by 28 or so and make a family. He never married (he was only 20!), therefore left no children of his own, no grandchildren for us. He was like a big brother to all his cousins, he loved them so much. They were devastated when he passed, they were young at the time.

I miss my son more than words can describe. My husband and I have been married 19 years, and we have holes in our hearts, a void that can not be fixed. It’s been almost 7 years, however found no help until last year with TAPS. It has actually reopened wounds I thought were buried deep enough. There were so many things that could have been done differently and it is our belief he would not have passed away in that manner. God may have called him Home, we just weren’t done with him yet.

Lisa Parris

If you know anything about this case, you can contact Lisa Parris through this website.